A COFFEE SNOB’S GUIDE TO PERSONALITY TYPES
We are all complex, beautiful creatures, which means no one is going to put us in a box. But we all have certain personality traits that define who we are. Even if we deviate from them from time to time, there’s usually one that we gravitate towards more than any other. It’s like usually ordering a straightforward cappuccino, but every once in a while, you go a little bit out of character and order a caffé mocha instead. In fact, there are some who would say that your favourite coffee says a lot more about your personality than you’d like to admit. So, if coffees were people, what coffee would you be?
THE CRAFTSMAN (OR PERSON) | LATTE MACCHIATO
Spontaneous and enthusiastic, but practical at the same time – an engineer with a fun side, perhaps? If this is you, you’d be well matched to a latte macchiato. Never heard of it? It’s super technical, so you’d love it. It starts with what the rest of us refer to as a latte, but with a slightly thicker layer of foam invisible to the naked eye (but you know it’s there). Not exceeding 300 ml of total liquid, you pour the espresso into the milk, not the other way around, and you always serve it in a latte glass.
THE COMPOSER | COLD BREW COFFEE
To you, bliss is when you feel completely at ease with yourself and in sync with nature. You’re a bit of an introvert, but a good listener and a great friend. While some might find you aloof, you’re not cold, but you like cold brew coffee for the fact that it uses time – not heat, which could have an adverse environmental impact – to reach smooth perfection.
THE COMMANDER | DOPPIO
There isn’t much that gets you down. You like to be the one in charge, because you love organising and have been told (by 97.4% of people who have worked with you) that you have strong leadership skills. To you, a challenge is an opportunity, which is why finicky coffees don’t do it for you. You don’t need another problem to solve. A double espresso can never go wrong, and you don’t mess around. Two shots of espresso will get straight to the point, leaving you to do what you do best.
THE NURTURER | CAPPUCCINO
Things your friends (and everyone else) love about you is your loyalty and unselfish nature. You’re also warm and sensitive, not to mention caring. Sounds like a cappuccino, if ever there was one. Plus, who doesn’t like a cappuccino? That also means that if anyone’s order didn’t arrive, you can give them yours. Look at that! Now everybody’s happy.
THE GIVER | AFFOGATO
To say you’re a people person is an understatement. You’re charismatic and always look on the bright side of life. At the same time, you’re imaginative, accept criticism easily and know how to speak your mind. Where do you get your confidence? You don’t drink coffee that often – you don’t need anything to lift your spirits – so when you have coffee, you let it play a supporting role while you indulge in what you really want… ice cream! An affogato sounds like just the ticket, and it’s perfect for sharing, although you can use social distancing measures as a reason not to.
THE DOER | CAFFÈ LATTE
Often called upon to save the day at the eleventh hour, you don’t harp on unnecessary details. At the same time, you always look for the angle everyone else seems to have missed, which means you don’t think like everyone else. A tall latte could serve so many functions. It could be sweetened if you need a boost, flavoured if you need comfort, and made cold on a hot day. It does what you need. In other words, it’s so you.
THE PERFORMER | IRISH COFFEE
You’re the reason they invented the word extrovert. You love people and you love a party. Everyone loves you and readily forgive all your vices. So, really, there’s nothing standing in your way of ordering an indulgent coffee laced with a lil’ summin’ special – even during a working lunch. The worst that will probably happen is that someone will roll their eyes and say something like, “Typical.” Pffft!
THE CHAMPION | RISTRETTO
You wrote the book on designing your life. You have a strong intuition about things and usually go with your gut. At any point in time, you’ve got at least five projects on the go, which means you’re great at spotting potential in others, because you’ll need them to see your ideas to fruition. Luckily, you’re also thoughtful and optimistic. The only thing that fits into your busy schedule better than an espresso is an even shorter espresso, which means a ristretto ticks every imaginable box.
THE COUNSELLOR | ESPRESSO LUNGO
You’re caring, reflective, and have a strong sense of what is right and wrong. Your greatest attribute is your ability to envision anything from solutions to problems, to a better way of looking at a situation – or yourself. You take your time with the details, which is why a lungo is a great match to your personality. Italian for long, it’s an espresso made to last longer, giving you more time for reflection and resolution.
THE SUPERVISOR | ESPRESSO
You weren’t officially asked to oversee everything, but somehow you always find yourself in that position. Perhaps it’s your strong, traditional values – you’re the Ralph Lauren of your corner of the world – or your results-driven, productive approach to things, but you can always be relied upon to get the job done. You seldom, if ever, colour outside the lines, which makes you an espresso. What else? You’re strong, classic, and dependable. And if you think about it, all coffee drinks start with you.
No matter your personality, there’s a coffee machine out there that’s the perfect match for you. Get the one that best suits your coffee preference and personality from @home.